Life In The Sun

Sorry it’s been a while guys, life gets hectic. Mum had to race off to new Zealand to rescue Andrew my little brother who decided to break his collar bone. Then this weekend was huge! Out with the girls Friday, swing ball Saturday followed by star bar, vodka bar, club 58 and then cushdy after hours. We had an awesome night. The boys stayed up all night and flew to bar show at 7am Sunday, and i got up to go to allessandro’s baptism. That was more painful that pulling teeth. Everyone was hung over and/or coming down off something, that mixed with the fact that jada and Samuel’s family all hate each other. It wasn’t pretty. And after that i went home and cried. I hate people fighting even if i have nothing to do with it. But eventually the weekend ended and work started. Now I’m at step waiting for the clients to arrive.

I know i have been totally slack with the whole blogging thing lately, but to tell you the truth, i just havent really wanted to. Just as soon as i thought things were about to start getting good again, all my hopes were brought crashing down and now i have to start all over again. I kinda lost the plot a little and am currently visiting my parents down in adelaide. WHAT can i say, when the shit hits the fan sometimes a girl just needs her mum and some good girlfriends.

So to start off the crapness, i have been super depressed about me and john, and it is mostly thanks to stupid twilight. It got me thinking about unconditional love and soul mate sand what have you, and to put it blankly love like what is held between Bella and Edward just doesnt exist. Its too perfect. And the thought that something like that could never happen made me really sad. I know no one is perfect but still.

And then i got even more down by the fact that john was never around or there to support me half the time , so on with my downward spiral, i kept getting really upset and crying alot over almost nothing.

Then, as if i needed anything else to make me feel miserable, i got a call from Amanda, the owner at carlies, to say that none of the other girls working there were getting along with me particually well, and that most of them didnt like me,  so she thought it best that she end my contract with carlies. Yes, after barely 2 weeks working there, i got fired. Again. What is it with queensland. It seems like its impossible to impress anyone up there. very annoying.

The worst part was, i had been arguing quite badly with john that day and amanda called shortly after one of our screaming matches, so i was already crying, and once i had been fired i just kinda lost it. I turned my phone off and just drove and drove and drove. I was planning on driving back to adelaide but then i realised i had no money for petrol or any clothes with me except for the expensive new shoes i had just bought myself to celebrate that i had a job (ironic huh), so i turned around and went home and called my parents and told them i needed to come home. And so here i am, sitting in my parents office on my dads computer.

i have been spending some time with my girls and what have you whilst trying to figure out what i should be doing with my life. I know it seems silly to put my trust in a phycic but i was in the mall today and there was one there so i thought why not? She told me that right now i am just going with the flow and that is ok, because it is helping me to find myself, i am becoming more mature and taking control of who i am as a person. She told me that I am very wise and that i need to trust my own decisions and not look back, because they are the right ones and everything will work out.

So, lets hope she is right.